Memoirs of a Repentant Slut

I remembered clearly the ‘first’ time I met Jide, it was through Sola, a friend who has a crush on me. Yea! That’s if attraction is the same thing as a crush but who cares for fairies and wishes? I’m for real in Flavour’s voice. Dreams, crushes and wishes when it comes to girl/boy matters are better left for the teens. I’m a grown ass woman; yea right! God bless Black American films.
The first time and countless times I ever met Jide was not as significant as the first day I met him. The first time a woman meets a man is distinctively different from the first day she meets him. I wish I can remember that distinctive moment without remembering Sola.
Sola is a handsome young man, unreserved, very agile, ambitious, and a volatile film person. He was a senior by two years in the university, can’t remember how we met; guess it’s not that distinctive but I know we became close at a point. He’s got good profile for every dream man but I really just couldn’t date him. He’s controlling, domineering and manipulative and I think he has less control over the pendulum in-between his thighs. Sola could be funny even though he makes dry jokes. He has a girlfriend but lies about having one but I never hesitated to throw his lies into his face. He’s a trying liar but he definitely lies to the wrong person. . . I’m a female Carl Lightman but natural as Torres in Lie to me Series. . . I watch too much films right? I know.
Sola and I were close until the day he crossed a huge line.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
“Seriously, how many times do we have to discuss this? Put your attraction for me under check. All I want for you is to be a good friend and if you don’t want to, the door is as good as wide but kissing or shacking up with a man I’m not dating or seeing is a no-no for me.” I stressed with my voice at the highest pitch.
Who says hookers don’t have standards? Maybe those by the road sides.
“I like you, I’m attracted to you, I love you, I want to date you but we really can’t make it public till I’m sure we are taking this serious.” Sola said.
Lest I forget, Sola enjoys being treated like a baby and you know the worst part, you have to be a strong woman like I am not to fall for his deceptive bedroom voice. Guys do have bedroom voices too you know and when a guy is using that on you, he’s either trying to calm you down for real or trying to get that big bro into that tiny hole. Very manipulative voice! From experience but that’s a red light sweetheart. I deserve better than secrecy but really, do I have to scream into this guy’s ears that I am not willing to go down that road with him not to talk of dating on a low-key?
 
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
“So how have you been?”
Jide’s succulent voice brought my body and soul back to life. If there is anything I love about him, it’s the way he picks his words and the voice lighting up and turning up the air-condition of my body. Jide definitely knows how to make a woman let her guards down.
“I’ve been great. And you?” I replied.
“Obviously doing awesome my dear.”
I saw his eyes flash through my cleavage. I remembered how he kept his eyes glued on my boobs the day he told me he was into me. He obviously still has a crush on those wonderful works of Jah. I chuckled.
“What?” he asked. I guess he was wondering why I chuckled.
“What’s what?” I stressed back with my eyes graciously focused on him.
“Seriously what?” he asked again.
“Really, you want to the what thing? Stop doing that!” I screamed sexily.
Having a woman screamed sexily is one of the greatest enthusiasm guys feel. The more he tried to hide it, the more his eyes increasingly gave him away.
“Stop doing what?” Jide said but this time, more daring as he pouts his face into mine.
“It’s been a while you know. . .” he said.
Jide kept his face into mine for like five minutes and who knows how much he would have stayed till a petrol tanker flashed its red lights and that crazy sound the horn always make.
“You might want to keep your eyes more on the road you know!” I winked at him and he readjusted.
“Hmmmm, never mind me, you always intrigued me anytime. Those eyes, those legs, that face, that brain, that woman! Seriously, it’s just been six months I went away and it feels like I have never met a woman before in my life even though you turned me down till I left.”
“Exactly what I need you to stop! You flirting with me Jide, not nice!” I said.
“And you enjoying every bit!” he replied.
Now I couldn’t hold my laughter. He caught me, I was really enjoying it. I love it when a guy flirts with me especially when it turns out to be someone I like! It’s not only me I guess. Most ladies like it!
Wild thoughts began to run through my mind! Hmmmm, bad girl! The worst thing that could ever happen in this SUV right now is to have that awesome experience! Well, yeah! Amaka tells me about having a sexual affair with a crush she never said yest to and how awesome it always feels shacking up with some you are not exclusive with. . . Many strings attached, less emotions involved! I want to try it some day. I love to try new things you know!
“So where are you off to?” Jide asked, breaking the silence!
“Well. . . Why didn’t you call me to tell me you are around?” I fired back.
“And why should I tell you? . . . ” he said trying to get something out of me.
“Because I know you really do wanna tell me right now.”
Now, that’s me trying to psych him.
“And why would I want to do that?” he said.
“Hmmmmm” I sighed licking my lips.
“Six months, I was away for an advanced course and you never thought it nice enough to call or reach out, even though we weren’t a thing but I did try to make us a thing but for some reasons I don’t know, you kept on turning me down. So, when I came back, which I just did yesterday, I never really thought I was one person you would be interested to see.” He said with so emotions and I can feel it.
“Awwww. . . I’m sorry but really you could have tried and see what my reaction would be but seriously, I do wanna see you!”
I couldn’t believe I just said that.
“Really?” he asked eagerly.
“Yea. . . but don’t blush.”
“I won’t. . . lol.”
 
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
“Leave me alone! You hurting me!”
I was screaming loud, hitting him and was sobbing but he never gave a damn.
I remembered the day Sola molested me. He never slept with me but he rumpled with my body. I remembered getting tired of hitting him that I just laid there at a point and allowed him have his way till he gets tired if he ever does!
We just finished sharing a nice meal of roasted plantain popularly referred to as boli with groundnut and a bottle of coke and I guessed he mixed his with an half bottle of ‘Osomo’. I got busy surfing the net and Sola began getting cozy with his mouth to my ears like a dog licking another dog’s ear wound. I told him to stop; he did and later on continued and this time, he was like a beast. . . like I’ve never seen him before.
He was voraciously eating my ears like a dessert; his hands on my breasts; then his mouth. I couldn’t take it anymore! I screamed silently sobbing. He stopped and went silent like an alcoholic trying to be sober.
I stood up, fixed my hair with my hands and I took my bag to leave.
“I’m really sorry. I’m not like this. I just really like you, you know and I missed you!”
I was silent. It felt stupid hearing a guy I was never having an affair with talking about missing me like as if we’ve been sleeping with each other or touring each other’s bodies. Some guys are beasts and it so sad have met more beasts than a cooing rabbit in a lifetime.
“At least if you must leave, can you wait while I get you something to comb your hair?”
I wasn’t angry, in fact, I couldn’t place what I was feeling; whether annoyance, hate or anger. The truth is, a guy who can harass or molest, can rape and hell be let loosed if someone ever claims this guy can’t rape!
He went in with my bag as a security measure for me not leaving by the time he returned. I took the brush, ran it through my weave, he continued to apologize till I took my leave.
He called my phone endlessly, sending texts but who cares for an apology over a cloth that has been rumpled after all there’s no light to iron it. . . How I wished he had tried it with Amaka, he’d have been in the ‘market’ by now. Mad girl!
All things being said, no grudges or unforgiveness harboured but that was the last day I was going to speak to him.

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. JoAnna says:

    You know you deserve better. I like this line (and many others): ” He stopped and went silent like an alcoholic trying to be sober.”

    Like

    1. eleanora says:

      Thanks for reading ☺️

      Like

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